You have got to be joking

  One of the ways I torture myself is to watch The Apprentice. (The UK version with Alan Sugar, I'm not totally deranged). There's normally a task where the bozo contestants have to pitch a product of their creation to a buying panel from some retailer or other. It's not uncommon for the product to be so devoid of any merit that the buyers, (to their credit, managing to keep a straight face throughout), don't place any orders.

  This would lead one to the conclusion that every product on the shelves of every major chain has gone through a similar process. I'm sure they take a punt on some items and get it wrong from time to time but you'd hope that sense prevails and these mistakes are few and far between. But then I saw this...

  You can imagine how overjoyed I was to see this shitfest in the freezer section when I was out shopping today. I couldn't get my phone out fast enough, such was my bewilderment. Something else occurred to me as I shook my weary head at this sad indictment of our pathetic sense of progress, and that was the supermarket's decision to stock this crap.

  I would have paid a ridiculous sum of money to have sat in the corner of that product pitch, happily munching popcorn, while the merry pranksters whipped out their samples for the straight faced buyers to consider. You know I'll bet they haven't stopped laughing and pinching themselves that their shit is stocked by ALL the major supermarket chains. (Except sainsbury's, I have checked.)

  I'll tell you the funniest bit, if you're mental enough to buy their crap, you're effectively paying £3.19 per kilo of potatoes while a short walk away you can buy a bag of perfectly good baking potatoes for 84p per kilo. It's this sort of money making genius that contests like the Apprentice and Dragon's den are looking for. Come back tomorrow when I'll tell you about my exclusive offer of bags of frozen toast. Take one out of the freezer and pop it in the toaster for an easy, quick and delicious snack. Only eight pounds for a bag of five slices, you heard it here first.

Kirk out

Chefsebastian.com