Making stuff.

  The main reason you're not getting any pictures of any yummy food related to today's post is that in the spirit of reining in my recent excesses in anticipation of impending festive excess, I've removed all and any joy from my diet for the month of NO!-vember. No caffeine, No processed food, No alcohol, No dairy, No carbs and absolutely No joy whatsoever!​​​​​​​ Actually, that's a bit of a lie as I'm quite capable of making even the most bland ingredients fun with a judicious sprinkling of flavour but I digress.

  Pastry is flour and butter. Add a bit of sugar and you've got sweet pastry or shortbread. What happens if you add eggs? Care to take a wild guess? What you get is cake. You might get cake but during NO!-vember I get absolutely fu... (Suck it up, fat boy. This was your choice so stop complaining. -Ed.)

The table!

On its back and utterly helpless.

  To make shortbread, soft butter and sugar are creamed together then flour is added. However, add eggs before the flour, (to which you've added a bit of baking powder), and what comes out of the oven is a delicious vicci sponge, ready for some scrummy jam and lashings of whipped cream. (It's only yourself you're torturing. -Ed.)

  Change the ingredients slightly and the proportions a lot to mix flour, melted butter, milk and eggs until you get pancakes or even béchamel sauce. (Before you write in, no, I don't make my béchamel sauce with eggs but some folk do for extra thickness and yes, that is weird.) You're probably aware of all these dishes but what I'm going to move on to is the reason those ingredients are in there. i.e., what is their function?

  But that's tomorrow. Now I'm going to explain the pics. The welding I did was to make the legs for the table, and in the pics you can see the finished article. I'm loving all the creativity but what do you care? Actually, if you want to commission me, get in touch.

Kirk out

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