Missions accomplished

  Being able to write this means probably the most important of all the missions has been performed superbly. That mission of course was to return home in one piece. Though having fun was also one of the aims, it was too easy to be considered an actual mission. Likewise the task of cooking for the troops, it's too easy and fun so isn't a mission either.

  However, the eradication of chicken strips requires a little more effort and fortunately I pulled it off. Quick explanation for the non-bikers. Chicken strips are the unused part of the tyre at the edge. The more upright the bike stays, the more prominent the chicken strips. Leaning the bike over further uses more tyre and shrinks the strips. Here's a before and after picture to further illustrate the phenomenon.

Badge of honour.

  On the left, before I had my suspension tweaks and on the right the state of my tyre after the mods and a few days in some of the twistiest roads I've seen in a while. Mission definitely accomplished, this is a badge I'll wear with pride all summer.

  Next up, eat myself sideways. My poor body hasn't experienced eating like that since I was compensating for my misery as a teenager by eating away the sadness. I've definitely put on weight and I'm look forward to taking it all off again but I'm also looking forward to seeing how I feel as I transition from a junk to a healthy diet.

  To make sure my gourmandise was complete, this was the dessert I had at lunch. The bakery we ate at called it a snickers and as you can see, it was a sponge base with a layer of caramel covered in peanuts and coated with chocolate. Just ordering it gave me diabetes. Outrageous but worth it.

Can I have extra lard with that?

  Finally, a quick acknowledgement to my travelling companions. All back home in various parts of south England after waking up in the deepest depths of the middle of nowhere and spending the whole day in tight formation for the three hundred and fifty mile dash to Calais. Our collective mission was to watch each other's backs and make sure of a safe trip. Mission utterly accomplished, roll on next time.

I never said I knew the way.

  NowI'm back home and my bags are unpacked, I have a new mission; undo all the damage from my excessive eating frenzy. I feel like a proper gutbucket so let's see how quickly I can turn that around. First stop, the gym.

Kirk out

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