So much to tell you

  Wow, what a blast. After days of cooking, packing up and swapping kitchens followed by more cooking, the party is now over and the debris has been cleared away. I dare say a few hangovers are still being suffered but I think the general consensus is that a jolly good time was had by all.

​​​​​​​  Including, I'm overjoyed to tell you, by me. Thanks partly to some meticulous planning, some spontaneous flashes of inspiration and a couple of hastily acquired, (from the party guests), enthusiastic sous chefs, everything was ready on time. So how did it break down?

  Because there were so many elements, I knew the most efficient use of my time was to get as much out of the way as early as possible, so Monday and Tuesday saw loads of shopping and cooking getting done which meant a lot of little details could be checked off the list promptly. I'd been to the kitchen I'd be using a long time ago and knew it wasn't huge or well equipped so the more of this I could do in my place, the better.

  You can see the kitchen above before I really got to work and you can tell there isn't a lot of workspace or storage. The fridge was tiny too so I'd brought loads of ice packs and insulated bags to help and it was still a constant juggling act. Below is a little glimpse of the day of the party showing the overcrowded work surface packed with a kaleidoscope of rapidly changing plates, bowls, bottles and implements.

  The plan had been to leave home early Wednesday. Last thing Tuesday, with all my lists checked and double checked, bags and boxes were piled up ready. As well as party food, I had packed loads of what I would say were my most very essentials, my intimate entourage that mean I'm ready to perform effortlessly without too much improvisation. These included various bottles and packets of the condiments, sauces and powders I use to gently nudge subtle flavours in the right direction as well as all the hardware I can't do without.

  I'll not give you the whole list but highlights include a small selection of blades, my hand blender, mini chopper, juicer, grater (wrap it up, bozo. We get the idea. -Ed.) and even a wok. The last thing to get put in the car was a final fruit and veg order that I wanted as fresh as possible. I got to the shop about eight to pick it up then with a full car, I set off.

  Fortunately I had enough time on Wednesday to drive, arrive, decant, rearrange the kitchen for efficiency and do loads of prep so I could put my feet up in the evening with a small sherry or two. Lists were updated and I headed for bed. Thursday was going to require focus.

  To slightly hamper my efficiency, breakfast had to be negotiated. This meant convincing the birthday girl's entourage to get their arses out of bed early enough that it could be eaten and cleared before the rest of the guests arrived. They were late, as I guessed they would be, but I had, at least, managed to impress upon them we had to get a move on. However, I'm not a total monster so we had a very relaxed smoked salmon and scrambled egg with coffee and OJ before I cracked the whip.

  Finally, the sprint to the finish. Three hours to bring all the elements together. A very focussed blur of activity saw a lot of mixing, seasoning, garnishing and productivity that really couldn't have been done without the unflinching support of my aforementioned sous chefs. (Thanks angels, wherever you are.)

  Unfortunately you've only got that small picture to get a sense of the feast. That and my version of the story where everyone was very complementary. However, as my harshest critic, all I need to say was that I was pleased. I'd be the first to tell you how much I'd managed to fuck things up and had to rearrange something on the fly, but there was none of that, just lots of happy guests.

  Hilariously, I was too full from tasting all morning so I didn't eat anything beside the odd nibble. The party went on all day and into the night with various waves of guests coming (and noshing) and going with the last of us sipping caipirinhas until way past my bedtime.

  Because my next mission started back at home early, my alarm went off at five! I had packed the car before I went to bed, so I just got up and, under the most stunning blue skies, rolled back into London by seven thirty where I've struggled to stay awake all day. Thanks for reading this far, I know it's been a long one but I had to write a full report, this party deserved nothing less.

Kirk out

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