It's a wonder I'm allowed out unsupervised.

  Do you want to learn a new word? Of course you do. What makes me think I'm qualified to teach you one? Because I wasn't concentrating and while searching for a phrase, this word popped into my head. As I'm such a nincompoop I typed it and couldn't understand why the spell checker couldn't get it right.

  I was searching for a phrase to describe someone who is continuously spontaneous. The word that I typed is spontinuity. Quite predictably, once again my spell checker isn't happy. I guess it hasn't been told about this new word. However, as I've just spent the last few sentences explaining that nonsense, I've completely forgotten why I wanted to use that phrase. Aren't you glad you just wasted those valuable seconds reading this gibberish and learning a word you'll never use? (You need help. -Ed.)

  Fortunately I remembered what I wanted to tell you and that is that I have a new favourite cookery writer. What's more is that I decided he's my favourite without having read one word he's written. I heard him on the radio for two minutes this morning and I've come over all star struck.

  As you're far more awake and attentive than I've shown myself to be, you'll have  worked out his name, the title of his book and more or less what the book's about. As you know about my tendencies towards deep nerdiness, my snap decision to rave about this guy will come as no surprise.

  I heard him speak. I liked what I heard. I checked him out. What may surprise you though is that I didn't follow all that up and immediately order the book. This is especially odd as you know me as someone who is famous for his spontinuity.

Kirk out

RevoltingFood.com