Pork, three ways

  What do you give three, heavily armed maniacs, hell bent on destroying everything? More weapons, of course. This was the rationale that led me to supply arms to my crazed nephews. They were suitably appreciative and my current position of number one uncle seems secure for another year at least. Possibly longer if they don't get any other uncles, which does seem unlikely at this stage as they only have one surviving grandparent. But I digress.

  My contribution to today's lunch, besides the calm expertise which enables me to delegate tasks to flapping minions, juggle limited oven and hob space and generally wrangle umpteen hot elements onto everyones plates in a timely manner, was a couple of pork dishes.

As lethal as they look, if not lethaler!

  I'll spare you the details as I have waffled on about them already, but as a brief recap, I'm referring to the pork stuffing balls and the slow roasted pulled pork. Both went down very well but just to be sure, they were accompanied by pigs in blankets which, in case you're unfamiliar with them, are pork sausages wrapped in bacon. The only way to eat more pork would have been to just eat a pig.

​​​​​​​  Here's a quick word about pork production. Have you noticed sometimes when you start frying bacon that the pan has water in it? I was chatting with my friendly butcher who explained to me that some producers put the pork into what looks like a huge, pressurised washing machine where water is forced into the meat under pressure.

  This enables them to sell you watered down pork. In other words, some of the pork you're paying for is water. As I've said on many occasions, please make sure the animal products you buy are of the highest quality, from reputable suppliers. Oh yes, and while I'm here, I suppose I'd better take the opportunity to wish you a merry bastard christmas.

Kirk out

RevoltingFood.com