And finally, Genoise part three.

  Once you've read this, you'll be desperate for someone to have a birthday or you'll find yourself just baking it to celebrate any old nonsense, like learning to dress yourself all those many years ago. What? You never celebrated that? Great, you've got the perfect excuse so off to the kitchen for some serious cake baking.

First up, here's your list of necessaries.

An 8 or 9 inch springform cake tin.

4 eggs

​​​​​​​100g caster sugar

125g plain flour

1/2 tsp baking powder and a pinch of salt

50g butter

You'll need an electric whisk and a stainless steel, ceramic or glass bowl with a saucepan to sit it on and another pan to melt the butter in. You got all of that? Great, then get ready to celebrate finally learning to put a tee shirt on without trying to cram your head through a sleeve.

The finished article, ready to be set ablaze then extinguished with germs sprayed by the grandchildren.

(Not my decorations, I don't think olives work well on cake.)

Put a shelf in the middle of the oven and crank it up to 175c.

Melt the butter.

Sift the flour, baking powder and salt together.

Crack the eggs into the bowl and put it over the saucepan of simmering water.

Grab your electric whisk and start whisking slowly then after about thirty seconds gradually increase the speed to frenzy, adding the sugar over the next minute.

After about five minutes, holding the whisk over the mix so it drizzles over the bowls contents, (stop it spinning first so you don't redecorate the kitchen), draw something. If the picture stays visible for a ten count it's thick enough.

Take it off the heat and fold in the flour (a third at a time) and melted butter (remembering everything I said yesterday).

Pour the mix straight into the cake tin and put it in the middle of the oven.

Have a look after twenty five minutes and if a knife comes out clean after you stab it then it's done. Resist the temptation to peer in early.

Allow it to cool on a rack then cut it into layers and fill with something celebratory like fresh fruit and whipped cream. Put more decorations on the top and you could even write, 'I learned to dress' as the err... icing on the cake, so to speak.

  Well done, now you've finally celebrated being able to independently don your clothes, you're ready to commemorate managing to wake up (nearly) every morning. I'll be round soon with some champagne so get baking.

Kirk out

RevoltingFood.com