Weekend action. The final chapter.

As BBQing had got checked off the list early, motorcycling had to be taken care of next and the universe provided an amazing opportunity. The route down to Brighton takes me past Box hill, a legendary meeting place for bikers. As there's a guaranteed receptive crowd there, a lot of manufacturers choose to use it for launches and promo activities.   When I drove past on Saturday, I noticed the circus was in town and went to explore. It turned out that Yamaha were looking to drum up interest in their 'revolutionary' new beast, the Niken. A quick glance at the snap below, (yes that's me astride it), and you'll notice the unusual number of wheels at the front. Though there are a few three wheeled bikes, Yamaha claim this is different. Unlucky for some. Yamaha probably.   As well as being highly unusual, it is based on and borrows a lot from the bike I happened to be riding, the MT09. The Niken had to be ridden to see what the fuss was about especially as they aren't available in the shops until September. I booked a test ride for Sunday morning but before I set off I made a few enquiries.   First was the price. Bear in mind that a brand new, full fat, top spec MT09 (the SP version) is £9000. For this oddity they want a very rude £13,500. On top of which, where the MT09 weighs 185kg, this lardy behemoth is 263kg. If bikes were sold by weight this would represent pretty good value for money but they're not. In fact, because the engine has an extra eighty or so kilos to drive, they have had to change the the way it delivers power. The factories euphemistically call this 're-tuning'. I'd have to wait till morning for the verdict but it didn't bode well. Heavy, expensive, pointless crapola.   Fortunately this last bit won't t take long. Despite peppering the pre-ride presentation with loads of words like, fun, adrenaline, exciting, sporty etc., within a few seconds of pulling away I realised this was going to be a huge disappointment. My mistake was thinking that this would compare to the original MT09 but they have as much in common with each other as a speedboat has with a tugboat.   You don't need to know about technical nonsense like riding position and steering geometry, just take my word for it, they were very different beasts and the only question that remains is, what sort of demented bell-end is going to shell out thirteen and a half grand on one? Maybe they won't sell any but we'll have to wait until September to find out. I shan't be holding my breath. Tomorrow, chocolate teapots. Kirk out RevoltingFood.com